I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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