I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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