Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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