Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
