i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
