The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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