That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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