On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
