Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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