the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
