we're blogging at a bar
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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