i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
