i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
