No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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