I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
