I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
