I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
