"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this boner is exhausting
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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