I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
