I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
