I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
