it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
