She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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