im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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