Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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