"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
