Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
