Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
