She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
