reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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