I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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