i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
