Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
