remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
