just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
