Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
