He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize