Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
