quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
