Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize