He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
