when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
