I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
