I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am available for nakedness
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
