Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
