i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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