You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize