New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
