Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
