There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
