dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
