we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
