Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
