So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
