wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize